From early childhood we’re taught the ancient art of storytelling. We start with ‘once upon a time’ and end with ‘happily ever after’, and we carry on telling ourselves stories as we grow and step into the world around us. But they don’t always serve us well.

And that’s in large part because we’re each so unique and we view the world through our own personal stained-glass window sunglasses. Each pane of glass has been shaped and coloured by our own lived experiences, the culture in which we were raised, and the many ‘truths’ we’ve been taught along the way. And these impact how we interpret, respond and react to the stories we’re told, and that we tell ourselves.

We read into a person’s intent, decipher what they ‘really’ mean, or work to sense what’s coming next. It’s all perfectly natural and it’s ultimately how our brain has evolved to keep us safe, but it’s rarely the truth and very much more often our truth.

Take a lunch with friends as an example. Imagine walking into the restaurant and seeing them all together over the other side of the room, laughing and having a great time. You walk towards them and as soon as they see you, they fall quiet and look a bit awkward. You could make that behaviour mean that they were talking about you, or that they were planning a surprise birthday party for you. Neither may be the whole truth but just think about how you’d act if you believed either of those stories, how your friends would respond, and how the end of that lunch might look and feel…

So few of us realise that our inner narrative doesn’t come from a neutral place, instead, just like our stained-glass sunglasses, it’s moulded by our experiences, self-image, and personal filters.  And this is ever-applicable in the corporate world too. Two individuals receiving the exact same email, can have wildly different interpretations, and that comes down to their filters and how they read or process it.

When we assume the intent behind a message based on our inner storytelling narrative, it absolutely impacts our response to that message. Our reaction may be defensive, potentially leading to a negative exchange that may have been completely unnecessary in reality. 

So always pause. And bring conscious awareness to anything that a communication (regardless of its form) brings up for you, and then ask yourself if the messaging you took from it was the truth, or was it your truth?